Something I always admired about my dad: he’d always stop and fix whatever problem he came across. Kids stealing bikes, he’d stop them. A kid crying, he’d stop to help. A man hitting woman? You’d better believe he’d step out and do something.
But you know what really stood out to me? He never bullied the bully.
If we drove by a crying kid, and he stopped to see that another kid was bullying him, my dad would help. But his help never meant that he’d just scream and go off at the bully. He never allowed himself to become the bully, even while he faced them again and again. And I think that’s a skill we all would be better off for mastering.
When you face the same problem again and again and again, our voice and our actions can start to actually emulate that problem. We hate someone who hits — so we hit them. We don’t like a boss who yells, so we yell at them. We get angry at a bully for bullying — so we say nasty things to him. We bully him. But that just perpetuates the cycle.
If you’re going to stop and help someone, don’t just pass on the problem. Don’t continue the cycle. Stop it where it’s at; maintain your integrity.
Never bully the bully.
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